


we've been meteoric even before this

by groundopenwide



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: Agoraphobia, Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Astronaut!Dan, Dan loves outer space (and Kyle), Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24684910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/groundopenwide/pseuds/groundopenwide
Summary: “Do you wanna go to space?”Dan had just looked at him. Charlie knew that Dan’d dreamt about going to space since he’d seen a clip of Neil Armstrong at four years old.“Job opportunity,” Charlie had gone on, grinning. “I’ve put you forward.”“Me?”
Relationships: Kyle Simmons/Dan Smith
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	we've been meteoric even before this

Dan’s world, as of five minutes ago, consisted of two places - where he went to work, and where he went when he wasn’t working. One office, and one flat. And sometimes, even those familiar places are too much.  _ He’s useless, utterly useless- _

This building isn’t mapped out in his mind - no clearly marked safe zones and exits. He should have visited at least once before.  _ Stupid stupid stupid- _

He hadn’t counted on not being able to see the stairs. At work, there’s a very clear sign taking you to them, placed to the left of the lift. His eyes are darting around, searching, like they’re playing laser tag. There have to be stairs, right? Legally there have to be stairs here. But now the receptionist is looking at him and he can’t immediately spot any stairs and he has to get in the lift-

He can’t get in the lift, he doesn’t want to-

_ Let’s just jack the whole thing in-  _

And then he imagines the look of disappointment on Kyle’s face, and walks over, feeling like his trousers are weighed down with water, and presses the button to get the lift to come down. It only takes a second, and is that good or bad? No time to think- _ don’t think about it-  _

Strangely, panic hadn’t set in when he’d walked in the building. But better late than never-

He’s the only one in the lift, and as the door closes that becomes knee-crumblingly terrifying-

_ Maybe this is what being in space is like, _ he thinks hysterically. _N_ _ o air in space either-  _

_ I have to get out-  _

_ If you can’t even get in a lift, how can you expect they’ll let you blast off in a space shuttle? _

_ You can’t even get in a lift. You can’t even get in a lift. You can’t even get in a lift. You can’t even get in a lift. You can’t even get in a lift. You can’t even get in a lift. You can’t do this, you can’t- _

\---

He’s lucky, really. He got first dibs on this, being already working for the company and all. The position’s not going to be advertised to the public for another three weeks. 

Charlie’d come up to his desk, and Dan had gone straight to  _ oh fuck am I about to get fired- _

(even though Charlie was like, the chillest boss ever)-

“Do you wanna go to space?”

Dan had just looked at him. Charlie knew that Dan’d dreamt about going to space since he’d seen a clip of Neil Armstrong at four years old. 

“Job opportunity,” Charlie had gone on, grinning. “I’ve put you forward.” 

_ “ Me? ”  _

Clapping Dan on the back with enough force that he’d nearly bitten his tongue off, Charlie had said, “ _ Yes, you _ . It’ll be a new program - looking at how ‘ordinary people’ can live in space. No offense intended in calling you ordinary.” 

“None taken.” 

Charlie was still looking at him. Dan had said, slowly, “You’re not just - fucking around?”

“Let me grab you a whole bunch of leaflets, Danny-boy.” 

One caught his eye immediately, shiny black ink with a white font:  _ In Ten Years’ Time We Could Be Living In Space. Or It Could Be Ten Months. _

He’d picked the leaflet up. 10 months of training, and then he could really-

No. He’d be no good. 

“Hey.” Charlie’d come back to hover. “Think it over, yeah? Opportunity of a lifetime, Dan.” 

_ It could never be me _ , he’d thought. _ It could never ever be me-  _

\---

There are windows. That’s the first thing Dan notices. Floor-to-ceiling windows, and through them he can see the building across the way, standing tall against the backdrop of the blue sky. The fist gripping his chest loosens and air floods his lungs for the first time since he stepped onto the lift. He can breathe again. He’s still breathing, he made it, he’s  _ fine- _

“Daniel Smith?” 

There are three people sat behind a long table, all dressed in pressed shirts and satin blouses with their ESA name tags clearly visible. The one who speaks has hard eyes but a kind smile. Her perfectly manicured hand gestures at the seat across from them. “Thanks for coming in today. Go ahead and take a seat.”

Dan sits. He wishes he’d put on something better than his usual work clothes, feeling frumpy and hot beneath his wrinkled collared shirt. When he’d put a hand to his forehead in the lift it’d come back wet with perspiration.

“Well, why don’t you start by telling us a bit about yourself?”

Dan’s mind goes blank. He flashes back to the lift, failure still rusted in his mouth. He’ll have to go back down in the same lift. He’s not sure he can handle it. 

_ Say something, you idiot.  _

He looks past them to the windows.  _ Breathe. Just breathe. _

“I’m an Electrical Propulsion Engineer here at ESA. Have been for six years now,” he manages.

“Charlie’s told us you’re quite good at what you do. How do you like the work?”

Dan thinks back to his first interview all those years ago, to the first time he stepped foot inside ESA headquarters. How it had felt like waking from a long slumber, after you’ve rubbed the grit from your eyes and the world has righted itself again. For so long he’d felt out-of-place, like a child playing pretend in his too-big glasses and his NASA sweatshirts, and then he’d sat down in front of a table not so different from this one and they’d asked him  _ what’s your favorite thing about space? _

He hadn’t realized it before, but that question- it was the one he’d been waiting for his whole life.

“I love space,” he says now, and then it all just- comes spilling right out.

Age ten: taking a school trip to the planetarium, sitting inside the digital dome and gazing up at the stars overhead. Age thirteen: Mum and Dad buying him a telescope at Christmas, setting it up in the garden so he could peer at the foggy outline of Mars in the distance. Age sixteen: reading  _ The Martian  _ and  _ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy  _ and anything he could get his hands on that would feed the yearning in his soul, that would quiet the constant buzzing in his mind.

(Age twenty-two: bumping into Kyle and spilling wine all over him at his first-ever work do with the ESA.  _ I’m so so sorry,  _ Dan had babbled, but Kyle had just laughed and looked down at the stain on his shirt and said  _ looks a bit like the Tadpole Galaxy, doesn’t it?  _ And Dan- he’d never really had someone to joke with about space before.)

They ask him a few more questions. Strengths and weaknesses and challenges in the workplace. He probably glosses over the strengths. 

Weaknesses. Challenges. He doesn’t say  _ it took me three weeks to ask where the water cooler was,  _ or  _ I didn’t say a word to anyone except Charlie for god knows how long _ . He doesn’t say  _ Charlie sent me to get some tea bags once and I couldn’t, I couldn’t go in the supermarket, I had to call Kyle and ask him to come and do it for me-  _

He swallows. “Weaknesses? I guess I can sometimes get too absorbed in my work. I’m very passionate about doing things to the highest standard.” 

They ask if he has any questions for them. His mind goes blank. He smiles and shakes his head, and then their hands. 

It’s over. He has to brave the lift once more. But he can tell Kyle - he did it. He bloody did it.


End file.
